Wednesday, November 28, 2007


1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with 7 daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of Property and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth4:5-10)
5. Go to party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. NOTE: this will cost you. - Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work 7 years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another 7 years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. 14 years of hard labor for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins off of you future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. - David (I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (prepare to lose 4 sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
14. Don't be picky. make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife? . . . NOT! - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

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